just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize