How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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