if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
