Your tits are I can't wait for
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
