I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
