ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
