Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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