The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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