Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
