This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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