I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize