i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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