It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
