Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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