We're like a lot better than the average bears
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
