why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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