absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
