dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
