Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
