A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Let's get the cat blown out
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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