mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
