Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just had sex on a roof
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize