everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
