so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
