Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
