Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
