Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
