you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
