everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
