So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Found the puke drawer
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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