in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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