That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
