it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize