Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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