You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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