She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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