Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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