This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Randomize
