What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
