is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
