I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
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