i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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