im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
