So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
