just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
