is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
please come you make the beer taste better
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
