woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
