will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
