Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
