Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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