I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We have started to decorate penises.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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