i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
