you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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