they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
