He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
