he wants to bone in the snuggie
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
