so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
