Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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