You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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