naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
