Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
