We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
