Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
