Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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