he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
