What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
