apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
