dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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