She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
