I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
