My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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