Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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