It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
