Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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