mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
