My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
