id be glad to
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
