The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
