So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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