Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
