a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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