playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
