last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
